Now some of you might think this would be another anti-car post about the dangers of cars and bike mixing it up. Other’s might think I’m posting about Rock Racing’s David Clinger. You’re all wrong! I’m talking about squirrels!
These deceptively cute little creatures are extremely dangerous and scare me more then most cars. In the last 3 mouths I’ve had more close encounters with squirrels then I’ve had with cars. Even though I almost got squished today by an inpatient BMW driver (who is the most dangerous of the car species).
I know your thinking, “Why would a 220 lb 6′3″ guy be scared of a furry cute little squirrel that only weighs 1.5 pounds?” Because squirrels are the suicide bombers of the rodent population. They throw their bodies into oncoming traffic and bicycle wheels without any hesitation whatsoever and most of their attempts end up with their own demise.
But every once in a while they successfully get caught up in the spokes of bicycles wheels and cause a catastrophic endos (going head first into the pavement or end over ass). This also results in the death of the squirrel too, the cyclist usually survives. I haven’t found any evidence that someone has died from a squirrel attack but I don’t want to be the first. I assume that if a squirrel does a suicide attack during a 25 mph decent your probably going to be really fucked up and depending on where it happens, possibly die.
When I see them sitting on the side of the road scheming I usually hiss or ring my bell to scare them off. But sometimes there is a really determined squirrel who likes to stare me down. It’s like he’s playing chicken with me, I know that’s the one who is going to attempt to dart out at me.
I’m deathly afraid of the these brazen squirrels who have such little value for my life. The best case scenario is that he times it wrong and becomes a speed bump, worst case scenario he succeeds on his mission and I’m fighting for my life in the back of an ambulance.
No so cute anymore?
Additional Reading:
I'm just your average 30 something white geeky male who rides a bike and
Squirrels are are clearly the true axis of evil and must be avoided at all costs.
[...] As you can see from the evidence below it got a good piece of me but I think I managed to crushed it’s stupid little wings when I batted it out from under my glasses. Wasps have officially made the list of the Axis of Evil of the Nature (right along with their suicidal buddies, the squirrels)! [...]